How to Help Kids Banish Monsters From The Bedroom.
by Susie E. Caron (c) 10-19-2014
I had them! You probably had them too! You know the monsters that show up as soon as the lights are out, when you were a child. Maybe you don’t remember. I do remember mine and what I did many years ago to appease them. What’s more important is that today I know what to do to help you with your child’s monsters.
Why do kids imagine monsters anyway?
The reason kids imagine monsters (whether they ‘see’ them under the bed, in the closet, or out in the hallway) is because of childhood anger and rage. The first emotion most kids experience shortly after birth is anger. After that we see their anger in crying and tantrums. At a certain point kids begin to realize parents don’t really want to deal with their anger. So they begin a process to try an ‘handle’ it. Unfortunately their little bodies do not contain anger and rage very well. They are physically just too small, and mentally unlearned in how to handle emotions. That’s why they ‘create’ monsters.
Without realizing what they are doing, and maybe with a little help from cartoon visuals, they cast their anger out onto creatures that roam in the dark – their monsters are the projected evidence of their anger. When kids are angry, who do they rely on to help them learn to self-soothe? They expect their parents to help them. Sometimes parents are successful, sometimes not so successful to teach self-soothing. Either way, kids can still cast their anger out onto ‘monster’ figures when the lights go out.
What parents have tried.
Parents have tried many ways to convince their children that they are safe. They often assure their kids there are no monsters and no such things as monsters. However, kids know better. They are pretty certain that their parents just can’t see them. The good news is that most kids grow out of this phase. But here’s better news. The plan I am about to reveal to you really works. It worked for my kids and it has helped many parents shorten the time of the monsters for their kids. Get ready!
Here is One Simple Solution
When your little one is tucked in tight and the lights go out be ready to go to her assistance. As soon as your child calls you because there is a monster, you show up in her bedroom. Be absolutely sincere and ask, “Where is the monster?” Your child will tell you the location, (even though she will fear a little bit that you will be eaten). Now, go to wherever the monster is located and look earnestly for it and FIND IT. That's right! Pretend you see it.
Now speak to the monster saying this, “What are YOU doing in (name your child)'s bedroom? You know you are never allowed in here. Monsters must stay outside!” Now with a flourish, chase this monster from its hiding place and to an open window in your child’s room (or even out of your child’s bedroom door, down the hall while you continue telling it to “Get out!” until you reach the door to the outside. Open the door (or window) and speaking in a loud, stern voice say “Now don’t you ever come back again.” Shut the door (or window) loudly. Next, come back to your child while brushing your hands together and say “There. I did it. That monster is gone will never come back. Silly monster, scaring you like that. How dare it!” Now comfort your child with a hug and kiss. Tuck her in and say good night. This usually works because kids believe you have the power! So be convincing.
You may find that’s all it takes to stop all the monsters. You might get called a second or third night but just chase the monster away again, firmly, and soon your child will sleep without any monsters in her room.
One more way to help kids banish monsters.
Alternatively, or following the above, you may also offer your child a ‘monster extinguishing flashlight’ to keep by the bed. That helps some children to make the monsters vanish on contact! Happy monster hunting!
Thank you for reading my blog.
Twee' means you and me, because we can work together to raise great kids.
Please tell me what you like about this solution, or what has worked for you, in the comments below. Let's get a dialogue going.
Hugs and Blessings
Susie E. Caron
Susie E. Caron MA,
Author, Blogger, Podcaster,
Christian, Wife, & Mother, helps build parent-child relationships, 1 blog, book & podcast at a time.
Welcome! I recently retired from combined careers in teaching, psychotherapy, and parent coaching to spend more time writing.
When I'm not busy creating books or articles, you might find me looking for dark chocolate or riding my beautiful horse Apple in the woods and fields of Vermont.
These articles are for educational and self-help purposes only and are not intended as psychotherapy.
If you experience unusual symptoms or discomfort please see your medical or mental health practitioner.
No patent liability is assumed for use of the information contained. The author disclaims any responsibility for loss or risk for use or application of this material.
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Blog Reviews & Thank You!
July 13 at 7:17pm ·
Just wanted to say that I love your posts about the different ways to connect/relate/understand your child. It has given me a new approach towards understanding my daughter and allowing HER to tell me how she feels instead of me suggesting to her how she should feel. Thanks Susie!