What do Mommies Need?
by Susie Caron © 10/4/15
Mommies’ daily duties are never ending.
They work, give, struggle, try, comfort, feed, give again, rock, chauffer, cook, phone, pay, organize, read, tuck in, wake up, teach, and many more things. It’s amazing.
Mommies are miracles at work.
Mommies want their kids to grow up.
They look forward to when their kids get big enough to take care of more responsibilities on their own, think for themselves, stay safe, have fun, become adults, move out and make themselves happy, responsible contributors of society. Mommies look for signs that these things are indeed happening and they worry, teach, correct and comfort when they don’t.
Mommies are guardians of the next generation.
Mommies wish their kids would just stay little.
They secretly wish their kids could live with them as their own, adorable little children forever. Mommies laugh at their antics, cry with them, kiss away hurts, hug them, rock them and read to them just to cuddle one more time. Sometimes, when kids say they don’t want hugs and kisses, Mommies resort to other ways to connect with their kids. They arm wrestle, give head rubs and shoulder bumps, pool- noodle sword fight, wrestle on the floor, swim, pillow fight, bike ride, or swing in the park.
Mommies are in touch with what their kids need.
But Mommies struggle to get their own needs met.
Mommies work in the most important job of their lives – raising children. They concentrate on this so much, that most of the time, they put themselves and their own needs aside. They also worry about how they are doing as a parent and how their kids will turn out, and they doubt that what they are doing is ever enough.
But, what do Mommies need?
Mommies need love, support and encouragement.
But how can they get this?
They start by taking time to take care of themselves.
Mommies who engage in a little self-care, like visiting friends, exercising at the gym, taking art or music lessons, find that they also receive some love, support and encouragement from others. These Mommies discover they are healthier, happier and automatically take better care of their children.
When Mommies don’t take the time, they miss out on something vital.
These Mommies will have to fight their own usual hectic way of operating each day in order to get their needs met. When they say, “I just don’t have the time,” their relatives and friends may misinterpret this to mean “I don’t have the time for you.” So then the love, support and encouragement Mommies need, may not come automatically, or when it’s really needed.
When Mommies do take care of themselves lots of things work out better.
Mommies who engage in some kind of exercise, eat as healthy as possible, spend a little time with friends, and on date night with Dad for example, feel better, sleep better and connect much better with their kids. While they engage in these things, they find opportunities to debrief with friends, relatives, and spouse and receive love, support and encouragement. There is another bonus: by taking a little time to do something good for themselves, they communicate to their kids that it’s okay to take good care of themselves too. That’s an important life skill.
You probably know all this. So why did I write this article?
I want to challenge you today.
Take just 6 minutes for a quick eye opening exercise.
Do this right now. Don’t put it off. You and your kids are too important.
Take a large sheet of clean paper, divide it in half.
Divide just the bottom in half again.
Now write these headings on each part:
On the top write: Everything I do, responsibilities and duties.
On the left bottom write: What I do for me.
On the right bottom write: What I want to do to take care of me.
Set the timer for 3 minutes and fill in the top half of the page with your duties. Write fast and don’t stop until the timer rings.
Set the timer for 1 minute each to fill in the two bottom sections. Write fast and don’t stop until the timer rings.
Take the final minute and look at all that you have written.
What did you learn from this exercise?
Challenge Yourself Today.
Pick out at least one self-care item that you’d really like to do and know you can do it this week. Put it on your appointment calendar and enjoy taking good care of yourself. It’s a good step toward getting what you need.
"Mommies need to take time for self-care, to be healthier, happier Mommies."
Tell me what you do to take good care of yourself and what benefits do you see.
Please take a second to click and share this article with your friends on social.
Twee’ means you and me
Working together to be happy healthy Mommies.
Susie E. Caron MA,
Author, Blogger, Podcaster,
Christian, Wife, & Mother, helps build parent-child relationships, 1 blog, book & podcast at a time.
Welcome! I recently retired from combined careers in teaching, psychotherapy, and parent coaching to spend more time writing.
When I'm not busy creating books or articles, you might find me looking for dark chocolate or riding my beautiful horse Apple in the woods and fields of Vermont.
These articles are for educational and self-help purposes only and are not intended as psychotherapy.
If you experience unusual symptoms or discomfort please see your medical or mental health practitioner.
No patent liability is assumed for use of the information contained. The author disclaims any responsibility for loss or risk for use or application of this material.
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Blog Reviews & Thank You!
July 13 at 7:17pm ·
Just wanted to say that I love your posts about the different ways to connect/relate/understand your child. It has given me a new approach towards understanding my daughter and allowing HER to tell me how she feels instead of me suggesting to her how she should feel. Thanks Susie!