How to Help Mommies
Susie Caron © 3/25/16
This morning I was thinking about the many Mommies and Daddies who struggle with some kind of disability, frequent illness or chronic disease. It isn't easy to be a Mommy or Daddy. The work of raising children never ends. It's 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. How do Mommies and Daddies do it, if at the same time, they struggle with health issues of their own? Is there anything we can do to help them?
I have a few good friends who are raising children and coping with health issues like these. I am in awe of them because they must be doing a good job of coping while parenting. Their kids are happy and they seem to know how much they are loved and how well they are provided for. That's wonderful, but what about Mom and Dad? Are their needs being met?
My kids are adults, but I live with some degree of pain every single day, due to Rheumatoid Arthritis. So, I know something about physical difficulties, which are often accompanied by mental challenges for getting things done each day. I was feeling particularly poorly yesterday and struggling to do anything constructive. Then I thought about one of my Mommy friends who is dealing with health issues. I wondered how she was doing, so I asked her in a private message.
She responded and we chatted for a while. I did not plan to 'burden' her with how I felt, so when she asked, I answered briefly then we chatted about other things. I just wanted to connect with her and find out if she was feeling better. After our chat ended, I felt much better and the rest of my day went very well and I hoped hers did too. Then I realized I'd felt better just because I connected with her.
So I wonder about the many parents who deal with health problems while raising their children. It cannot be easy for them.
Have you noticed, people with health difficulties usually don't ask for help?
Do you know why?
It's because they don't want to bother friends and family members for 'things they think they can do themselves', (even if it takes longer and is more difficult than it might be if they were healthy.)
But there are things anyone can do that take only a little time and effort. It's the connecting that's important. Just by making a small effort you can play a huge part in lifting the hearts and spirits of Mommies and Daddies who struggle (even if it's not with health issues, but other issues.)
If you'd like to do something for your friends, but when you ask they say 'I'm fine." Then you may like this little list of ideas for what you can do to 'help'. Your tiny acts of kindness may be the source for lifting their spirits, providing encouragement, or support. You could be the reason your friend gets through another difficult day, and feels just a little bit better. Caring contact is more important than anything else. They just need to know you see them and you care.
List for ideas to connect and 'help' Mommies and Daddies
1. Phone, chat, or text your friend. Ask "How are you feeling today?" Let him or her talk. Just listen and don't give advice.
2. Send an "I'm thinking of your today." email or e-card.
3. Offer to pick up or take the kids to school, sports, or other events.
4. Going for groceries or errands, call and ask, "What can I pick up for you."
5. Offer to take the kids for a play day with your kids.
6. Invite him or her to come over for coffee or lunch.
7. When you drop in, and find your friend working on something, pitch in and help.
8. What can you add to this list? Post it for us in the comments.
Don't worry. Few of the people I know who struggle with illnesses want to 'burden' their friends. So they won't start leaning heavily on you if you do some of these. But, don't wait for 'someday', do something today, while you can and Above All - Connect.
Twee' means you and me
Taking time to care for our friends.
Susie E. Caron
These are from my former life with many current memories and helps for parents.
I retired from teaching, became a psychotherapist treating children and families and an author. After retiring I became a full time artist.
I recently reopened this parenting blog because I believe wisdom is to be shared.
Author of Chidren's Books,
Christian, Wife, & Mother, I want to help you build parent-child relationships, 1 blog, & books at a time.
When I'm not busy creating articles or paintings, you might find me looking for dark chocolate or playing with my Boxer, Josie.
These articles are for educational and self-help purposes only and are not intended as psychotherapy.
If you experience unusual symptoms or discomfort please see your medical or mental health practitioner.
No patent liability is assumed for use of the information contained. The author disclaims any responsibility for loss or risk for use or application of this material.
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Blog Reviews & Thank You!
July 13 at 7:17pm ·
Just wanted to say that I love your posts about the different ways to connect/relate/understand your child. It has given me a new approach towards understanding my daughter and allowing HER to tell me how she feels instead of me suggesting to her how she should feel. Thanks Susie!