Who's Teaching Your Children?
by Susie E. Caron (c) 11.6.2014
Today, as an author, psychologist, parent and former teacher, I encourage you to "Teach your children well." I want you to think about who is teaching your children? What are they teaching, or not teaching and what you can do about it.
I am concerned about this. As a former school teacher, parent of two now adult children, author and psychologist I have noticed that there is much fear today around being 'correct'. There is so much now we cannot say, even in descriptions for fear of criticism. In addition, in the face of all this, parents seem to be afraid to parent. They ask, "What if I do something wrong? What if I make the wrong decision?"
I have also noticed that some of our kids seem 'lost.' Many seem without goals, or direction. Some of them sadly end up on the news. The extreme evidence of this is on the news every day and it's escalating. Kids, go into schools and kill their friends. College students break the law by being destructive following sports events. Others leave their country of origin, go abroad and join up with armies and causes foreign to anything they've known. Even some adults go on shooting rampages against our law enforcement officers. Why is this happening more and more?
I believe it is because many parents are stifled by fear. They are led to believe that only the schools and our government which set school standards, have the right and the ability to teach our kids what they need to know. I know children need to go to school, but it appears something essential is missing in this idea.
Who is teaching your children? What are they teaching? Is there anything you can you do to make sure your kids learn the standards, values, precepts, ethics, morals, and religious instruction that you want them to have?
Absolutely! You can teach your children well. You can spend enough time with them and expose them to reading and discussing their thoughts and feelings with you, to make a difference. In so doing you build connection to your kids, real relationship that counts, and a rational, compassionate basis upon which your kids can grow.
I remember when my two kids entered junior high school, I was appalled that a teacher was to teach them sex education. I believed that as a parent, that was my job. In order to not embarrass my kids by keeping them out of the class, I called the school and asked for the class curriculum.Then I taught my kids my beliefs, standards and feelings about sexual activity before marriage. By doing that I knew, no matter what the teacher said, I had it covered. I also asked them what they were learning in their class. We had discussions. They learned from me and from the school so they had opportunity to develop their own thoughts regarding the subject. I was not judgmental, but encouraged open discussion. I didn't ask myself "What if I'm wrong? What if I make a mistake?" because I knew that just like climbing vines, kids need a standard to grow on.
Your kids need to know your standards. You do have beliefs, standards, and ethics, that you live by. Teach them to your children. It's ok because they are your kids. You have undeniable permission to teach them. It was granted to you the day you conceived, fostered, or adopted them. You are the parent. They are your children. If you aren't teaching them, they are most certainly learning from someone and you may not enjoy with they learn, and live out.
As a former teacher, a parent of two grown up 'kids', and now psychologist and author, I encourage you to read to your kids everyday. Let them select some books to read together. You select others. Talk about the books with your kids. Listen to them. Encourage free & open discussion so you can get to know, what they know or think they know. Tell them freely what you believe, think, and how you feel about issues that they face everyday. As they grow, discuss new items and their goals, hopes and dreams for the future. Build a secure relationship with your children based on mutual respect and open conversation about anything. Don't worry about sharing your ideals. Your children want to know and they are counting on you.
I hope you are encouraged by this article. Please leave a comment and share on social media. (Click on links below and at the upper right corner of this page.)
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Twee' Means You & Me
Susie E. Caron
Susie E. Caron MA,
Author, Blogger, Podcaster,
Christian, Wife, & Mother, helps build parent-child relationships, 1 blog, book & podcast at a time.
Welcome! I recently retired from combined careers in teaching, psychotherapy, and parent coaching to spend more time writing.
When I'm not busy creating books or articles, you might find me looking for dark chocolate or riding my beautiful horse Apple in the woods and fields of Vermont.
These articles are for educational and self-help purposes only and are not intended as psychotherapy.
If you experience unusual symptoms or discomfort please see your medical or mental health practitioner.
No patent liability is assumed for use of the information contained. The author disclaims any responsibility for loss or risk for use or application of this material.
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Blog Reviews & Thank You!
July 13 at 7:17pm ·
Just wanted to say that I love your posts about the different ways to connect/relate/understand your child. It has given me a new approach towards understanding my daughter and allowing HER to tell me how she feels instead of me suggesting to her how she should feel. Thanks Susie!