Why Resolutions Don't Work & This Will
by Susie E. Caron (c) 1/2/16
Every year people make "New Year's Resolutions," to improve something. So why don't their 'resolutions' ever stick? This is a terrible cycle and when you don't reach your goals, how do you feel? Most of us feel like we failed. In this article I reveal the reason and offer you a solution that has worked for me.
First, let's look at the word resolution.
When you resolve to do something it means you've made your mind up about it and you plan to do it. It also usually involves setting goals to measure your success. But something has to be wrong, because every year the same goals are set - lose weight, exercise more, get healthy, spend more time with loved ones, and on and on, and that are never reached.
"A resolution doesn't work, because it's a trap you set for yourself."
Why, oh why in the world, with all the pressure around you to perform, would you lay out something, namely 'resolutions', to make sure you fail?
Maybe you need a different word.
This is what I did.
I hate feeling like I've let myself down. So instead of setting traps for myself. I asked myself what I wanted. When I wanted to feel healthy or energetic, I asked myself, "How can I get those?" I answered by scheduling in a particular kind of exercise. In the summer I do what fits in with my daily life (garden and horseback ride) and in the winter I do something else (use equipment and workout in my home.) These work for me because I enjoy them.....well not the winter ones, but I'm motivated so I can continue to do the things I really enjoy in the summer.
When I asked, "What can I do to stop gaining weight as I 'mature'?" I realized I couldn't eat the same portions at 60 as I had when I was 20. So I wrote down the things I really enjoyed eating, cross referenced with what was also healthy, and started a pattern that has really worked for me. In fact over the next 5 years, I lost 25 of the 30 pounds I'd gained in my early 50's while I attended graduate school. I don't deprive myself at all because I make sure to include my craving for 2 dark chocolates every day!!! (Don't tell anyone. I've got them hidden, because they are just for me.)
Come on! Change the way you think. Stop setting traps for yourself. Instead of 'resolving' to do this or that hard thing, why not just think about what you WANT?
That's not so hard is it?
Please share this article. Stop the yearly maddness. Help me get the word out to help people do what they want this year.
Happy, Happy News Year to You and Your Family
Twee' Means You and Mean
Getting better every day.
Susie E. Caron MA,
Author, Blogger, Podcaster,
Christian, Wife, & Mother, helps build parent-child relationships, 1 blog, book & podcast at a time.
Welcome! I recently retired from combined careers in teaching, psychotherapy, and parent coaching to spend more time writing.
When I'm not busy creating books or articles, you might find me looking for dark chocolate or riding my beautiful horse Apple in the woods and fields of Vermont.
These articles are for educational and self-help purposes only and are not intended as psychotherapy.
If you experience unusual symptoms or discomfort please see your medical or mental health practitioner.
No patent liability is assumed for use of the information contained. The author disclaims any responsibility for loss or risk for use or application of this material.
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Blog Reviews & Thank You!
July 13 at 7:17pm ·
Just wanted to say that I love your posts about the different ways to connect/relate/understand your child. It has given me a new approach towards understanding my daughter and allowing HER to tell me how she feels instead of me suggesting to her how she should feel. Thanks Susie!